


Hello My Name Is Coffee Boy

by notsoseriousdyl



Category: South Park
Genre: AU where tweek is homeschooled and doesn't know anyone, First Meetings, M/M, Wow another creek fanfic!!, and Craig is hella gay, and clyde is a bully (but in a good way), surprise, what a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsoseriousdyl/pseuds/notsoseriousdyl
Summary: In a world that differs from our own, how do soulmates find each other?Through a slip of the tongue and a very confident wing man, apparently.





	Hello My Name Is Coffee Boy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this right after Put it Down was aired, but I never posted it because it was like. Past midnight and my judgement for story quality was hazy. I read it over today and actually laughed a couple of times? So here you are. Another creek story!

            “What about him?”

 

            Craig didn’t even glance up from his phone, annoyance on his face as he typed away, “Clyde—“

 

            Said boy let out a loud sigh, “Craig, come on,” he leaned back in his seat at the local coffee shop, giving his best friend a very exasperated look, “you’ve been gay for like, what, three weeks? You gotta lay a guy!”

 

            Craig rolled his eyes, “I’ve been out for three weeks, douchebag. I don’t need to get with anyone. Everyone’s still freaking out over me coming out, anyway.”

 

            “How’s your dad taking it?”

 

            Craig hesitated before putting his phone down and stabbing his muffin with the fork, playing with it more than eating it, “He’s coming around, I guess.”

 

            Definitely a lot better than the day he came out to them. Thomas found it absolutely necessary to completely ignore his son for a straight week, to the point where Craig had to stay at Token’s, a generous friend who Craig owes his life to, house. Craig was only allowed back in with open arms when his mother called him, crying and screaming. Craig’s never ran so fast in his life.

 

            In his mother’s warm embrace and kisses to his forehead, Thomas finally exchanged words. “You’re still my son, no matter what, and I love you. I’m sorry.” Craig will always have those words engraved in his mind. Along with the slap to the back of his head by his little sister about how he shouldn’t have even left in the first place.

 

            Craig shrugged, “He won’t talk about it much, but if someone asks he’ll mention it. At least he’s not trying to show me girls anymore.”

 

            Clyde laughed, “Remember the red head he thought you’d like?”

 

            Another voice chimed in, “Sorry dad,” it said, sitting next to Clyde to reveal himself as Token, the very generous friend which Craig will always say thank you to, “but she’s missing one thing to make me happy.”

 

            “A dick!”

 

            “Alright, alright,” Craig covered his ears, looking around quickly to see if anyone was listening, “stop it with the dick jokes already, they stopped being funny a long time ago.”

 

            “I still can’t believe you’re gay,” Clyde flashed a toothy grin, “the school went nuts. It was a great day for us bachelors. The ladies really needed some comforting.”

 

            “Says the only bachelor.”

 

            Craig and Token shared a snicker as Clyde puffed his cheeks up as an irritating habit. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. The school did go nuts. Craig found out that his sister ran around telling everyone his sexuality a couple of days after his family found out. After all the girls who were interested in him blamed him for leading them on, bullies made themselves known (and quickly left, as Craig and his two best friends are fearless), and various invites to the very small LGBT club (hosted by the overly friendly Stotch kid from across the street), he gave a very stern talking to his naive sister about privacy.

 

            “I didn’t like the attention.” He simply said.

 

            “You never like attention,” Clyde’s eyes wondered, the brightened, “what about him?”

 

            “Dude—“

 

            “Token, don’t you agree Craig needs a man toy?” Clyde blinked, “wow. That was the weirdest sentence I’ve ever said.”

 

            “Then never say it again.” Craig stuffed a fork full of muffin in his mouth.

 

            “Craig will get a boyfriend when he’s ready.”

 

            “Yeah, but! Look at him! He has a whole new dating pool he isn’t exploring!”

 

            Craig rolled his eyes and went back to his phone.

 

            Token sympathized, “Clyde, you’re being a dick again.”

 

            The brunette flinched and studied Craig carefully, seeing his bored expression and frown, “Sorry dude,” he said, meaning it, “you know I don’t mean to insult you.”

 

            Craig rested his chin on his hand and smiled, “I know dude. You’re just an asshole.”

 

            “Hey! I’m trying to be nice!”

 

            “Then stop defining me by my sexuality,” Craig shrugged, watching Clyde blink, “just cause I’m gay doesn’t mean you can hook me up with every guy in town. I’m still the same, uninteresting, unflirtatious Craig.”

 

            “H—uh,” the gang looked up to see a tall, slender blond boy with a notepad and pen, “How are you guys doing?”

 

            Token raised his eyebrow, then realized he had yet to order anything. He smiled, opening his mouth to answer and record want he waited to the young barista. But the voice that came out wasn’t him.

 

            “I’m gay,” Clyde and Token felt like they were hit by a bus, looking at Craig, who held a smirk on his face. His eyes were locked on the coffee boy, whose face flamed and—is he actually shaking?

 

            A single second passed before Craig snapped out of whatever mind set he was in and straightened his posture, “Okay! I meant, I’m okay, not—“ he tore his eyes away from the blond and held his hand up to block the side of his face, staring at the table and hunched over his muffin like it was the most important thing in the world.

 

            Clyde decided now would be a bad time to laugh. He held it in as best he could as Token took pity and finally answered, “We’re fine, thanks. Can I have a small coffee with cream?”

 

            The shaking boy just nodded, though it wasn’t noticeable as he still looked like a vibrating tomato. He’s footsteps sounded like a horror movie as he, literally, ran off to behind the counter on the other side of the building.

 

            Finally, Clyde let out a wolf like laugh, gasping and snorting more than usual. Token forced himself not to smile, trying to give Craig as least some comfort.

 

            Craig, himself, was having the type of crisis that only other people had to deal with. He didn’t even dare take his hand away from the side of his face, too afraid he’ll make contact with the blond, as he raised his eyes to his two friends.

 

            “So, dude, uh,” Token had to steady his breathing as he saw Craig’s face had turned very red, “what the fuck?”

 

            “Dude,” Craig took his bag, “I need to go. Like. Right now.”

 

            “What us to get his number for you?”

 

            Craig threw the remains of his muffin at Token, who finally lost it and laughed along with Clyde, “Actually, fuck you guys,” he stood up, “you’re both awful and I hope you burn in hell.”

 

            “See ya later, lover boy!”

 

            Craig gave them the middle finger as he marched out the front door of the building. The other two had finally calmed down, and just in time for Tokens coffee. Token saw the mischievous look on Clyde’s face, but didn’t try to stop him.

 

            “What’s your name?”

 

            The blond kid, the same as before, gripped the front of his apron as he wore his nerves on his sleeve, “What—why do you ask?”

 

            “My friend who was here before,” Clyde pointed to the now empty seat in front of him, “kinda left before he got your information,” he sighed sadly, “as the good friend I am, I’ll take it upon myself to get your number for him. He was cute, right?”

 

            The blond turned red again, “Yeah-? I mean- ack- uh-?!” he bit his lip, visibly trying to calm himself down, “I’ve s-seen him around town before. I mean, I’m not a stalker—don’t tell him that, I don’t—!”

 

            Clyde found this all even funnier. Token sighed, hitting him with his elbow before the brunette started laughing again.

 

* * *

 

 

           Craig laid comfortably, Stripe nuzzling into his chest, getting ready for a nap, “At least you won’t laugh at me, Stripe,” he smiled when the precious thing’s ear wiggled, “true friend.”

 

            He groaned when he heard his phone go off. He was afraid to look at it, still embarrassed from before. But after convincing himself it could be his mom telling him dinner was ready, he forced himself to scoop his phone up and turn it on.

 

_Hello?_

            Craig frowned. It was an unsaved number.

 

_hello?_

_Is this craig?_

 

            Craig hesitated when he got another message from Clyde. He opened that first, only to want to throw his phone across his room to see it was a picture message of the very source of his embarrassment.

 

            Clyde had sent him very poorly taken photo of the blond coffee boy, who leaned over the counter, phone tightly held in both hands, looking like he was focused on whatever he was doing. The captioned read “ur welcum ;)”

 

            Putting two and two together, Craig indicated that the random number was the coffee boy. Craig will have to punch Clyde next time he sees him.

 

_Yes_

_Oh hi_

            Awkward. Yikes.

 

_I’m sorry if I did something earlier to embarrass you._

_I didn’t mean to!_

            Double texter. Huh.

 

_no dude ur good_

_u didnt do anything_

_srry bout the uh_

_gay thing_

            Craig wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

 

_No no, it’s okay. I got used to the gay jokes when I was 10._

_ur gay?_

_I mean kinda. I’m actually bi- is that bad?_

_jesus no, im gay_

            There was a hesitation in reply, which was weird because coffee boy was being fast earlier. Craig found himself wondering if him being gay was a problem, but quickly disregarded it as him still being at work.

 

            In the meantime, he sent a picture back at Clyde of him sticking his tongue out and flipping him the bird.

 

_Cool_

            Cool?

 

_wats ur name so i dont have to keep calling u coffee boy_

_Coffee boy?_

_That cute?_

_I like that, that’s my name._

_Hello I’m Coffee Boy._

            He’s got jokes. Craig smiled.

_nice to meet u coffee boy_

_im craig_


End file.
